Languishing
How can I motivate my team when I feel like I can barely get through the day myself?
This dilemma has come up in more than one coaching session lately.
Here’s the truth: You can’t.
A recent article in the New York Times by Adam Grant talks about the phenomenon of “languishing”, something many of us are experiencing. It is different from depression.
It is the feeling of apathy caused by the belief that we are just marking time until things turn a corner, improve, or go back to what was before. The apathy leads to a lack of focus which makes every task feel even more overwhelming than it was before.
There is a pretty good chance that you and those you work with are experiencing some degree of languishing.
It is marked by behaviors like staying up too late binge watching tv or catching yourself playing games online midday, even though you know that these behaviors will impact your ability to hit your goals or the energy you need to deal with the pressures of work.
Another indicator of languishing is isolating yourself from others. With the impending return to the office, the hesitation (or even dread) to go back to the workplace likely will be amplified.
What can you do to shift that?
The brain loves to feel accomplishment and control.
Set certain times during the week that are blocked as “no meeting” times. These are times that you and your team can focus on making significant progress on project work. The feeling of accomplishment and progress will help.
Schedule and take your paid time off. Encourage others to do the same. By modeling vacation and rest, you are letting them know that you see the value, even when the work is mounting up.
Stop communication outside of normal work hours. You may not intend for your team to answer until the next business day, but chances are they will. So it's up to you to set and hold the boundaries.
Invest time in a few things you love doing versus what you feel you “should” be doing. Even if it means doing absolutely nothing!
Engage in conversations with your team about how you are finding joy and ask them how they are doing the same.
The exhaustion and overwhelm your team is experiencing is real, just as it is for you. Faking that you are motivated and energized in order to try and manipulate them into the same false state isn’t going to help.
It’s okay to say, “Yes. I feel it too, and here are the steps I’m taking to support myself. What might you do?”