5 Steps for Defusing Frustration
We’ve all, at some point, been frustrated with a friends, family, or colleagues. Thinking of something they’ve said or done (or didn’t do) activates a reaction in us. Sometimes it’s a physical reaction, like heat or tension in our body. Or perhaps your brain goes into story mode, recalling previous times “they’ve done this before” and you replay the past memories.
Is frustration blocking your success?
We can get stuck focusing on “what they did”. We might even get frustrated with ourselves thinking, “Why can’t I get over this?” or “How can I be feeling this again?” Our reaction, however small or personal, can affect our mood and performance and sometimes spread to those around us.
What if you could short-circuit the frustration response?
Instead of becoming frustrated, angry, or feeling defeated when you notice a reaction brewing in you, you can choose to, instead, be fascinated.
“Oh. There’s that sensation again.
I recognize that I’m reacting.”
Being fascinated takes us out of potential feelings of shame and guilt that can amplify our reaction.
5 Steps to Move From Frustration to Fascination
Pause.
Take a deep breath.
Let go of any tension when you exhale.
Feel the floor beneath your feet.
Ground yourself in the facts — what is actually 100% true in this moment.
By choosing fascination over frustration, you are able to think clearly and plan a centered, fact-based response or action.
What if you choose to respond rather than react?
The practice of being fascinated is one of the core tenets of Navigating Challenging Dialogue®. We are on a mission to teach these fundamentals of self-awareness — that’s what we mean when we say that NCD is a movement to change how we engage.
In our workshops and classes, we’re demonstrating how thinking errors, cognitive shortcuts, and how we tend to react rather than respond contribute to miscommunication and conflict. And most of the time it’s not even a deliberate choice, but the result of our not having been taught the tools to respond with self-awareness or for the good of the whole.
Being able to navigate challenging conversations and interactions is something we all can learn with the right tools. And these are skills that are needed more now than ever before to succeed personally and professionally.
How to use NCD to solve communication-related frustration.
Those of us who are able to be curious learners instead of stubborn experts, who don’t take things personally, and can manage their emotions and ego, are worth our weight in gold to those around us. By learning Navigating Challenging Dialogue®, you’re learning the tools to develop these valuable skills.
You’re invited to download our free resources to help you on your journey to change how you engage and communicate.
Want to learn The Complete NCD Process?
The NCD Process provides the framework for having effective communication by extracting our thinking errors, recognizing and managing emotional hotspots, and being curious, cooperative learners. Participate in hands-on practice and get coaching from facilitators in both our online classes and in-person workshops.
We look forward to having you be part of the NCD movement!