Are You and Your Team *Really* Coaching?
I fancied myself a “natural” coach for a long time. Afterall, people came to me for advice and counsel. I was a good listener. And, I am a curious person by nature.
But I didn’t realize that what I was doing was not actually coaching. What I was doing was solving people’s problems for them and in turn, draining my energy, causing drama, and taking a lot of time away from what I needed to work on.
For the majority of us who work with and on teams, authentic coaching skills are a necessity. More businesses than ever realize how critical coaching is to success. Yet the number of professionals who understand what authentic coaching truly is, remains quite low.
What is authentic coaching?
Skillful, authentic coaching doesn’t require a great deal of your time and, when done correctly, won’t drain your energy. In fact, using coaching will give you more time and energy because when you are skillful coach, you are will be able to help others:
Improve problem solving abilities,
Learn how to work through barriers to success,
Discern what is most important and set priorities and goals
Gain insight into patterns of behavior that hold them back
“Effective coaching is not about people becoming more dependent on you, but instead about empowering people to lean on their own unique skills, talents, and strengths on a daily basis.”
Authentic coaching is the ability to help another gain insight into challenges, desires, or roadblocks, identify changes or actions they are willing to take, create accountability for those steps, and reflect on progress. And you do this by asking validating and curious questions and inviting reflection.
A Myth About Coaching
Many people are under the false impression that coaching is something that comes “naturally” and doesn’t require skill development or formal training. Even people with a natural propensity to be a good coach need training and feedback to build that talent into a productive and valuable skill.
How Coaching Differs From Day-To-Day Management
When you authentically coach, you are empowering others to find their own solutions, develop their own skills, use their own strengths and talents, and shift their own attitudes and behaviors.
Ownership and accountability are shifted from you over to the coachee which empowers them to close the gap between what they desire and taking action to actually get there (potential and performance). All while being responsible for their own growth and development.
Coaching Builds Workplace Culture
Coaching is the tool that helps you empower people to hold themselves accountable, enable them to build skillfulness, and allow them to be heard and validated. Through the deployment of coaching skills you build capacity in people, develop trust, and create meaningful engagements.
In fact, 70% of employees who received coaching at work reported an improvement in performance.
Using Curiosity as a Coaching Tool
It’s a trap to buy into the myth that our job is to be the expert. And we try very hard not to let anyone else know when we aren’t. Not only is it not possible to always be the expert, it isn’t good for your teammates and colleagues. The next time you feel the urge to take command of the room or prove you are the expert by sharing what you know, stop and breathe.
Instead, consider a curious question that you could pose to the others in the room so that you can join as a learner instead of an expert. I promise, it won’t diminish you in their eyes, but instead will increase trust, relationship, and collaboration.
Listen without interrupting or talking over. If the conversation comes to a halt, instead of making statements, or discounting ideas, ask the speaker to clarify:
Can you say more about your idea?
Do you have an example where this has been tried?
What are the consequences if you do nothing?
What are the consequences if we do as you suggest?
What do you think your next step might be?
One way to begin to assess if you are authentically coaching is to take my brief Coaching Quiz included in this PDF.
Feel free to share this quiz with others and discuss the results in your next 1:1 meeting or as a team.