Between a Rock and a Hard Place
When you are anyone other than the person in ultimate control of an organization, there can be times that you find yourself feeling between a rock and a hard place.
Decisions get made that you don’t agree with.
Maybe you even believe they aren’t in the best interest of your program, staff, team, or even customers.
Yet the horse has left the barn and you are left feeling powerless and you have no choice but to implement a decision you are struggling to get on board with.
How do you proceed without letting your frustration become so apparent that you are labeled as resistant to change or negative? In my coaching and consulting work this comes up often.
Try This Clarifying Activity
This simple activity will help you see where you do have power and control, where you have influence, and where in fact you are powerless (and might want to stop putting so much emotional energy into it).
Take a piece of blank paper and draw three concentric circles.
In the innermost circle, write down everything you do have control over. These can be things like your attitude, the behaviors you model for your team, how much and to whom you vent, how people get trained in new procedures, how you deliver feedback, where you ask clarifying questions, etc. And maybe, if you even stay in that job (reminder: you do have control over that).
In the middle circle, write down everything you have influence over. These might be things such as timing of the implementation, how much stress it causes others, and how you are perceived within the process.
In the outermost circle, include everything that you have absolutely no control over. These will include things like the decision to move forward, other people’s behavior, the ultimate success of the project (although maybe you do have some influence over this).
Take a few minutes and review what you’ve written. Notice if there are things in the “no control” section that actually you do have some influence over. Even if it is just a bit. Feel free to move things around.
We tend to spend most of our time thinking about what we have no control over.
Those are the things that keep us awake at night and cause our blood pressure to rise. The reason your attention goes there is that your brain really wants to help you figure out a solution. So we turn to the same thoughts over and over hoping to create a new outcome.
The way to get yourself unstuck is to pause that thinking.
Pause and go back to looking at where you have control and where you have influence and identifying what tiny action steps you can take to positively impact the outcome of the decision, even when you don’t agree.
It stinks when those above us make decisions that we struggle to support. Especially if we believe they don’t have insight into all the ways the decision impacts our workflow, our productivity, and those we serve.
But the cold, hard truth is that because of their position or level of ownership, they get to make those decisions.
And unless you work somewhere really unique, or you are the owner, feeling between a rock and hard place is likely to be something you come up against sooner or later. Keep this simple activity on hand for when you find yourself there.