Interview with Becky Wells Gray - Leaders in Conversation
Becky Wells Gray, Executive Director of must! Charities, joins me for this bonus episode of our Leaders in Conversation series. Becky and I talk about must! Charities’s uniquely strategic involvement with non-profits, and how she applies the tools of Navigating Challenging Dialogue®. [Transcript]
Becky Wells Gray helped launch must! charities in February 2012. She brings over 16 years of experience in wine industry hospitality and public relations. Becky has been an active volunteer and supporter of various community organizations from serving on local non-profit boards, to coaching youth sports, and volunteering for various local and global causes.
You can reach Becky Wells Gray online on her website (https://www.mustcharities.org) .
How Do You Apply Navigating Challenging Dialogue?
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Transcript
[Beth Wonson] Hi, it's Beth. And today I'm here with Becky Wells Gray and Becky is the executive director and founder of must! Charities. must! Charities is one of my favorite organizations because they're a philanthropic organization and what they do is a little bit different than most philanthropic organizations that I've worked with. must! Actually goes in and makes longterm investments in non-profits, helping them build capacity, reinforce their operations, and align their structure and the way they do their work with their longterm goals. They serve northern San Luis Obispo County primarily. So Becky is someone who's gone through the Navigating Challenging Dialogue leadership workshop, and she's used a lot of the Navigating Challenging Dialogue skills in working with and collaborating with both organizations and with donors. So Becky, welcome. How are you doing today?
[Becky Wells Gray] I'm doing fabulous. Thank you so much for inviting me to be on this show.
[BW] You're welcome. How did I deal with my, explanation of all the things that must! does?
[BWG] You did pretty well. It's hard to sum it up in a nutshell and I think you did a really fabulous job. I always love hearing other people describe it.
One of the things that I just love about must! is you're actually helping invest in the growth and development. And I believe recently you've started also having must! Board members sit on the boards of the organizations you're funding. Is that accurate?
So we have done some capital investments, but they're really strategized to make sure that the organization is furthering their mission. And as far as the boards, we don't have a board member that sits on a board, but I sit on boards and then I also have an employee, someone that we contract out, who also sits on boards and we call that the must! liaison. I think it's important to know why we do that because sometimes people assume that because we're a funder that it's, "Oh well I want to get my way, I'm donating the money." That's not the case at all. The reason why we sit on boards primarily is because things happen in the board room. Conversations happen in a board room that would never come on a funder's report. And so when we get our reporting from our partners, there would be conversations that we would miss that could potentially open up new projects with that organization. And we just had that happen this last year and had we not been in a boardroom to be a part of those side conversations, we wouldn't be funding, and the organization wouldn't be receiving, a gift that we just discovered was important to them.
[BW] Wow, that's great. Now, one of my favorite organizations is, and one of my favorite executive directors and a must! Project for a little while, and that's the ECHO homeless shelter in Atascadero, California. And I heard that you funded a big capital project that's really going to be able to change the way they do services. Do you want to talk about that for a minute?
[BWG] Yeah, so a few years ago we got involved with ECHO. They're servicing homelessness, which is one of the biggest social issues that our community is faced with. And that's the premise of must! too is we are looking at data, we're looking at what organizations are tackling the issues in our communities and how can we support that. And ECHO, 18 years ago now, 19 years ago maybe, was an all volunteer board and those same volunteers were sitting on that board since they founded and they had the hearts, they had the labor of love, and they were doing everything to make ECHO work. And what we found was now ECHO, in 2017 we partnered with them, they had six full-time employees. But navigating a board from going from an all-volunteer board to a governance board, empowering the employees to do their work was really tough. And so we came alongside, we actually got you involved in that process as well. But to see the success of that. And then from there in the beginning when we first were contracted with them, and this was a half a million dollar gift by the way, they had asked us to renovate their kitchen. And so this new project, the capital project, is a kitchen renovation. And when they did that, we said, well, that's great, but what is that going to do for our community? And what's it going to do for your clients? What's it going to do for your organization? And they kind of looked at us and they're like, "well, have you seen the kitchen?" And we're like, yeah, we've seen the kitchen and it definitely needs a renovation, but we want to see more. And one of the things when we invest in capital projects is, we are looking for return on our investment. And by that I don't mean to cash return. I mean we want to see at least a 15% return on the organization, for the organization, for their benefits.
So if we're investing, say we invested in solar, which costs us about $24,000 at ECHO, they in turn were saving $7,000 a year that could go into programming that was much needed. And so that's really important to us when we're investing in capital projects. So this kitchen is so cool because not six years ago I had a partner, a donor of must!, who is, comes out of the restaurant industry. And she said, I really want to get involved with must! I don't want to serve on a board. I'm not sure what that looks like. And I think it's important to always wait. And that's something I learned from your course too, is to be patient because when the right things happen they will. And six years later I recalled that conversation and going back to her and saying, "Hey, I think I've got something. I know six years ago you said you wanted to be involved and I think I have something."
And what we found was that I started digging into her side of the business and in the restaurant industry two of the hardest positions to maintain from an employer standpoint is a line chef and a dishwasher. And anyone can do those jobs. And so for her to come in, the partnership was amazing. We toured her through ECHO, she loved what we were doing. And ECHO is a very different homeless shelter. It's a live-in shelter. They commit to 90 days. They are people who are ready to help themselves and are willing to do the hard work to get out of homelessness. And she toured the kitchen. She loved the concepts. So what we're bringing in is not only a commercial kitchen but a training center. Local chefs are coming in and doing classes, as well as we're teaching, you know, how to live properly, life skills as well. And then these chefs will have connections to people who might be interested in being in the culinary field and they're right at their fingertips. So we're making connections with them too, which internally will help the community as well. Because here we're helping with with job skills and placing, job placement as well.
[BW] You know, several years ago the founder of Homeboy Industries, Father Boyle, came to San Luis Obispo and ...
[BWG] I was there!
[BW] ... and in my mind as I've gotten to know must! And I've gotten to know ECHO and Wendy Lewis, the executive director who I love to pieces, I've always thought, "Oh my gosh, this will be ..." and now I just see it happening because Homeboys just as such a fabulous life skills training, vocational training, and then developing a product that they put out in the world that you can get in grocery stores in different places. So this is such a different model for really supporting and sustaining non-profit organizations to be able to get to the place where they can really develop self-sufficiency, which is also what your trying to fund in the human beings that your organization serves, right, is how do they change the trajectory of their lives and it's just such a powerful model for me and I hope anyone who's listening to this who works in a funding agency, will take a look at how sustainability funding can really, really, really change the trajectory of the work that's being done.
[BWG] Hmm-mmm
[BW] You came to the Navigating Challenging Dialogue leadership workshop up here in Sacramento. I was thrilled to have you as part of that group. What were some of the takeaways that you know utilize in your work?
[BWG] Well, for one, self-awareness was huge. I mean I walked away from that [class] being more aware of who I was, how I responded to things. The energy you bring into the room is huge. I mean, I live by that. The cognitive shortcuts, being aware of them and then catching myself in the midst of using them, that could be hurtful to either my business or relationship or what have you in the way I communicate. I can't even describe all the things. I walked out of there going, "Oh my gosh, everybody needs to take this course. Everybody should. Every parent, every teacher, every leader, everyone should do this." I mean it was profound.
[BW] Yes. So can you give me a concrete example of how you shifted your leadership, or an incident where you caught yourself using something from the class?
[BWG] I think one of the common things, and I think I did my lecture on this, was the future tripping, that cognitive shortcut of creating stories in our mind that haven't even happened yet. And I have seen that, across the board, in the way leaders are hesitating starting a project or worried about a donor and even myself like, Oh, should I reach out? Maybe it's too soon. It's like, wait, stop. I have to get out of my own head and really just pause and get rid of the emotions, get rid of all the junk and just look at the facts. And that has been huge for me.
Yeah, it's life changing. I have found over the course of developing this work to really be in the present moment. And one thing we say within Beth Wonson & Company is don't tell the other person's story for them. Be curious and ask what their story is. Right? I have to get reminded of that all the time because I think, "Oh, and I'll never work because of this. Or they'll be hesitant because of that." And my staff says to make that stop telling this story.
[BWG] Yeah, I totally agree with that, 100% and being curious and even in parenting it's like, you know, I've got two teenage daughters and even dealing with that, it's like, okay, stay curious. I'm like talking to myself in my head, just stay curious, stay fascinated. Don't get on the roller coaster. Just stay curious and ask the questions because the conversations go so much better.
[BW] Yes. And for a leader, for someone who's running an organization like you are with so much responsibility and everything, we're asking you to show up for four full days. Four full days that you are out of your workplace, out of your environment, phone calls and emails are piling up. What was your feeling about the four days at the beginning and then how did it shift towards the end?
[BWG] Well, you had asked me to attend one of these a while back and it was tough. It was tough to carve out the four days. I, myself, because of my future tripping, couldn't justify it. And then I had some schedule conflicts at one point, but that was going into it. And I was really worried about. I actually brought a ton of work with me up to the hotel and I thought, well the evenings I will just get my work done. Wow. That did not happen. Partly because I realized the value and the importance of the content that I was receiving at this workshop and partly because there was so much good stuff that I just needed to like rest my mind. In the evening too. And really I wanted to just soak it in, and I knew if I would've just busied myself, that wouldn't happen. At the end, I could've stayed two weeks and felt like it was totally worth it.
[BW] Wow.
[BWG] So that was post-workshop.
[BW] Yeah. And I just loved having you there. Also in your workshop we had a principal from a public school, we had a deputy director from a government agency, and someone from business and industry, and you as a non-profit leader. What did you notice about having such a disparate group? Anything that stuck out for you in terms of people from so many different places?
[BWG] Well, it made me realize I really love my job. (Laughing) And I love the field that I'm in because you know, when you're dealing with the government sector, I'm married to an educator, so I understand that sector as well. There, there are a lot of constraints in those industries and I don't have those. And so it made me really appreciate the industry that I'm in. But it was also fascinating to me because a lot of times we work with people that are in those industries. So it made me aware and I think more empathetic as well as probably compassionate to the situations that they're in. And so when I'm going to talk to a potential project that could be a non-profit, that could be government-funded partly, or could be, it could be educators, I have a better understanding of the place where they're coming from. And awareness of their position and the constraints behind those, versus I'm private sector, so I don't have those constraints. So, it made me appreciate and be aware.
[BW] Wow, that's great. So I know that you have some big things coming up, some new initiatives that you're kicking off. Why don't you tell us a little bit about those? What's happening?
[BWG] Yeah, so in 2012 when we first started, we actually funded a Boys and Girls Club. And the Boys and Girls Club was a very small club. It was cycling each month wondering if they were going to keep their doors open. When we go in and partner with projects, we actually talk about "Where do you want to be, you know, five years from now? And what's keeping you from getting there?" And then we look at what are the steps that you need to do in order to get there. And then we put dollars on it. So it's very different from, "Here's our money, this is what we want you to do." It's really allowing them to dream. And one of the things was we knew in our community that there are over 4,000 kids that didn't have a safe place to go after school. So we knew that we needed to build capacity with Boys and Girls Club.
When we started that project, they were not in a position to be able to build capacity because the infrastructure and the foundation of their organization had so many leaking holes, which in turn is leaking resources, which really inhibits an organization from functioning properly. And then the other thing was, one of the things we see in non-profits is that we see adaptive capacity in the workplace, in the business world all the time, because people need to be adaptive in order to survive in the business world. We don't always see that in philanthropy, in non-profits. And so what we wanted to do was bring that component into the social sector as well. So that here we have 4,000 kids now in our community, so that the community need is rising, but the ability to serve those kids is not changing. So the same amount of kids are being served every year.
So as a non-profit, our question was, how can you be more adaptive and what can we do? So we actually invested in a lot of internal leadership, org. development, organizational development, really solidifying their foundation. From there, we went to a separate community. So then serving in two cities, two locations, year-round. From there, we just completed ... a long time ago, we were like, in this world you have so many things that are streamlined such as running HR, accounting, what have you, that could be done at a remote location over multiple non-profits. And we were so stoked because this year, in May, we had a huge merge happen on the central coast and the Boys and Girls Club is now the Boys and Girls Club of the Mid-Central Coast. So we have merged from south Santa Maria Valley all the way up through the northern end of Paso Robles. And the most exciting thing about that is we're serving 2,500 kids now where we were serving hundreds and now there's 2,500 kids being served with this organization.
And the most exciting piece is we are going out and we're about to launch a site out in Shandon. And I don't know if anyone's familiar with San Luis Obispo County, but Shandon is one of the most remote areas in the County. It's one of the most forgotten about communities in our County because it is so rural and yet they have the most need out there. And so that was another premise behind must! Charities is "Hey, we need to make sure we're investing in helping the people that need it, need services most in our County." And so we have a year-round program going in there. It's a partnership with Shandon Unified School District, must! Charities, and The Boys and Girls Club of theMid-Central Coast. We have a three year commitment. We will be providing after-school services year-round as well as holidays and summer programs from like 7:00 AM to 6:00 PM, kids will always have a safe place to go.
[BW} Wow. That is amazing. If people are interested in supporting the work that you're doing, which I cannot say enough is sustainable and it's about really shoring organizations up to be successful for the long-term. If people are interested in supporting you, where can they find you online?
[BWG] They can go to mustcharities.org
[BW] Great. And I fully endorse this organization. I have been involved in the non-profit world, in the funding world, for most of my adult career. And I have kicked the tires on must! and I fully believe in what they do, and what they're providing. A lot of times we forget that one of the rules of organizations like must! is to be able to do the research, the analysis, and the actual work that someone like me -- who's busy with my life, I'm busy with my family -- I believe it's important, but I don't have the time to commit to it. And so I can depend on someone like must! To do all of the things that I don't have, the time, the expertise, the wherewithal to get done. So I encourage you to check out mustcharities.org online and take a look at the fabulous work they're doing. Becky, thank you for being here. I love working with you. I love working with your team, and I look forward to more connection and collaboration as we move forward.
[BWG] Thank you. We could deal what we do without people like you. I mean, we really rely on you and your organization to provide and come in and support our partnerships with non-profits. So thank you.
[BW] Yeah, thank you.