It's sparking inner conflict
This past week, the weather where I live was in the high 80’s. It was flip flops, shorts, and tee-shirt weather. Blue skies and sunny days. Today I woke up and it’s overcast, high winds, rain, and the temperature isn’t passing the 50s. Brrr.
I have everything I need to make the quick adjustment. I can put on socks, long pants, and a second layer. I can turn on the heat in my house. But my brain is feeling resistant and annoyed by the change, even though I knew it was coming.
My brain is stuck, longing to eat my lunch outside at the patio table and check the pool temperature to see if it warmed up enough to venture in. I want to see the sunshine and swaying palm trees I’ve enjoyed for the past week. Instead I see dark clouds and winds bending the palm fronds.
I have the ability to adjust, cope, even thrive. But my mind is still stuck in what was. It is distracted by yesterday. I feel annoyed and resentful.
Inner conflict is also happening with many of my clients.
Not about weather but about constant change. They have the tools and resources to shift. They are well equipped technically and skillswise. But their brains are still hanging on to what was.
Change is happening rapidly, and things are changing for every single one of us. Like the weather, often the change is outside our control. We get stuck in “what was”.
Being stuck in “what was” might result in not giving a new boss a chance because you were so comfortable with the former boss. Or it may refer to the inability to be upbeat about a new point of sale system when the old one was “fine”.
“What was” can also refer to hopes and dreams that have been thwarted. A missed promotion or a job interview that didn’t result in a new job. Or a dispute with a colleague that resulted in bad feelings and a long-term grudge that impacts everyone around.
A long-term mentor of mine reminded me that things are always moving forward.
No matter how much I may want to stay hung up on “yesterday” in my mind, it is never possible to go back there. Not even on a day that replicates yesterday in so many ways. Because I’ve changed.
Not only do I evolve mentally and emotionally every single day, but also I’ve changed internally. And so have you. Your stomach lining completely replaces itself every 4 days. Your skeletal structures replace themselves every 3 months. In a span of 5-7 years, everything within your body make up has been replaced and regenerated. That’s how we heal.
As humans, we are perfectly designed to adapt to change.
It is our thinking brains, our thoughts, our worries, our assumptions, and our future fears that bring up resistance.
I’m not professing that change can be easy or comfortable. It is not. But it is required.
And often, in a few weeks, months, or years, we look back and realize that the change we were resisting actually wasn’t all that bad.
Where are your thoughts keeping you from moving through change?
Beth
P.S. Are you experiencing a change that feels daunting? Let’s work through it together. Confidential, one-to-one coaching provides great support while walking through change. Sign up for a free call with me to learn more: http://ncdconsult.com