Let Go of the Rock, Baby

This is where it all began.

Several years ago, I was enjoying a delicious chai at a café with an outdoor garden. A mother was there with her 18-month-old daughter—a beautiful, curious child. The little girl wandered around the courtyard, carrying a small river stone in her tiny fist. Soon, I heard her whimpering and looked to see she had put her arm, up to her elbow, down the empty tube of a concrete umbrella stand.

I watched, horrified, as the child struggled to pull her stuck arm out. Others began to get concerned. I had visions of helping the mom lift the umbrella base and carry it—child attached—to the emergency room. I anticipated the mother's anxious pleas for help.

What happened instead was that the mom simply walked over, sat next to her sweet child, and calmly said:

"To get unstuck, all you have to do is let go of the rock, baby."

The little girl looked at her mom with trusting eyes and released her fist, letting go of the beautiful rock that was now holding her captive and keeping her from moving freely. Her arm was easily released from the tube. I waited for tears over the rock now lost in the bottom of the umbrella stand. But I could see on her face that the release felt so good she was happy to move on "rockless."

This real-life event that I witnessed has served me for over a decade.

I remember it every time I find myself holding on too tightly to a thought, idea, or even a relationship—realizing that if I simply let go, I'd feel great relief.

Sometimes it's hard to let go because I fear feeling grief or sadness. Other times, I find I’ve become comfortable with what's actually making life harder than it needs to be. And sometimes, the thought of going through the emotions stirred up by letting something go feels overwhelming.

But just like the little girl who was holding so firmly onto the rock, even though it was hurting her arm, holding on to what no longer serves me is exhausting and depleting. It keeps me stuck.

What I've learned is that my fears and unspoken expectations of what might happen if I intentionally let go often block me from looking objectively at what's draining my energy and slowing my progress.

Sometimes I need a friend or colleague who also understands the meaning of "let go of the rock" to give me a nudge or reminder when they see me spinning my wheels.

So be brave, and forward this to someone who you know will get it—someone you can count on to remind you when you can't see the path forward for yourself.

I'm grateful I witnessed this story firsthand because its message has transformed my life and business in significant ways.

It forms the basis of Navigating Challenging Dialogue®.

The ability to assess situations objectively and determine what I need to let go of and what I want to hold onto is powerful—it's the lesson of NCD.

Today I'm asking you, "What rocks are you holding tight in your fist?"

Let go of the rock, baby.

-Beth