Shifting a Culture of Venting
Last week I shared about venting and how it is not a good strategy for stress relief. Today I’m sharing how to shift the culture of venting in your team, company, or organization.
One of the biggest reasons people give for venting is because they claim it is a way to cope with stress. But as I highlighted last week, the relief is only temporary. A short while later, they are back to venting again.
If you recognize that venting has become a go-to strategy for stress relief, it is likely that relationships may be suffering along with your own wellness. As a leader, manager, or teammate, we each have a responsibility to notice the role of venting and do our best to shift it.
Here are a few of my recommendations:
Talk about culture in the onboarding process for new employees. Explain why venting is not part of the culture. (Refer to last week’s email for all the reasons on how venting causes distraction, increases burden, drains culture, and damages relationships.)
Be responsible for the energy you bring. Make sure that you are not modeling that venting is acceptable. Become aware of your behaviors and the way you talk to others.
Help people identify and practice more effective stress relief. Include a session on venting in your staff or team meetings.
Become curious when you hear someone venting. Use coaching tools to help the person begin to think about concrete actions they can take to solve problems rather than nonproductive venting.
Raise Consciousness Around Unproductive Venting
Here is a simple activity you can use in a staff or team meeting to help raise consciousness around unproductive venting.
Introduce the topic of venting in a non accusatory or judgmental manner. Have people take about 10 minutes to answer the following questions:
“When you vent, what changes are you hoping to experience?”“What do you notice about your focus, motivation, or energy when you are venting?”
“What does it feel like to listen to someone else who is venting?”
Then ask people to get into groups of 2 or 3 to share and discuss their answers. Remind them that there are no right or wrong answers here.
After a few minutes, ask the groups to take 10 minutes and brainstorm a list of 5 alternative behaviors or choices that they could make that would also help them to reduce stress or blow off steam. A framing that I suggest is, “If venting were no longer possible, what alternative behaviors or activities might help you feel relief?”
Bring the groups back together to share their lists of alternative activities. You can expect to see things like “writing in a journal”, “going for a walk”, and “deep breathing”. Capture their ideas on a white board or flipchart as they are shared.
Ask the group for accountability around helping each other to move from venting to other stress relief behaviors. For example, “Take a minute and reflect on the list. Which of the behavior alternatives can you commit to shifting to when you feel the desire to vent?” and “How might you help someone else pause and choose an alternative behavior when they begin to vent to you?”
The act of venting can often feel necessary and productive but remember, venting without action is toxic, and it’s draining for those around you. Helping your staff or team learn and practice alternative behaviors supports self-care and team morale.
To learn more strategies and tools for building a healthy and effective team, check out our free resources on our website.