Transforming Team Dynamics with Feedback and Behavioral Norms

I recently worked with a state agency who is under great pressure. They have onboarded a new entity into their existing agency and conflicts, morale, and miscommunication has been increasing as they work through integrating processes and expectations.

It is not uncommon to face these types of challenges when merging teams.

We began with the Navigating Challenging Dialogue® Essentials training. People were resistant to spending a full day on internal communication when the pressures and importance of their work is so public and critical.

I knew that their time was precious and that working on their own dynamics was something that had never been done before. People were uncertain what to expect.

As I do with all my clients, I wanted to make sure the learning was relevant and meaningful.

As we proceeded through the content, it became clear that there existed a level of what I call “toxic niceness”. People were hesitant to discuss interpersonal communication because well, frankly, it is much easier to focus on outside pressures than it is to focus on ourselves and our dynamics and how they get in the way.

However, as often happens, as people felt the sense of emotional safety that is created in an NCD workshop, they began to stretch and to reflect on their behaviors and challenges as a team, and less on the outside influences.

By early afternoon we were taking a deep dive into the behavioral norms that if agreed to and upheld, would make working together more effective and smoother, with a feeling like everyone is rowing in the same direction. I facilitated some hard conversations. I held space for some people to speak their truth. And I created a pathway toward resolution.

We ended with a draft set of norms and a commitment to loop others in and get alignment.

We had a second session planned a month later. This session would be a morning session focused on giving feedback and an afternoon session to take a deep dive into the norms with a larger group.

As I planned the flow for this second day, I began to wonder how to make a connection between feedback and norms. How could I make the two topics feel related instead of two separate sessions in one day?

This is when I realized that without a culture where feedback is expected, valued, and even proactively sought after, any behavior norms would not be sustainable, nor would they be woven into the culture of the agency.

As we went through the content on Mastering Feedback, many people (including seasoned leaders) revealed how uncomfortable they are giving feedback — and what lengths people will go to avoid it! This is neither uncommon nor surprising to me.

Feedback is one of the most effective tools we have for helping people grow and develop.

Without feedback, it is nearly impossible to hit our goals or fulfill the mission of the organization. Feedback is nothing more than a tool for gathering and operationalizing other perspectives outside of our own.

Feedback is key in collaborative relationships and teamwork. Yet nearly every leader or manager I work with readily admits that giving feedback is uncomfortable for them.

When we shifted from the feedback content to bringing the behavior norms to life, I observed people working in groups and being open with their feedback on how things aligned or didn’t. I saw people asking curious questions to gain deeper understanding. And I saw a camaraderie emerging that I did not experience as fully in our previous sessions.

Participants were eager to find out how they could bring this experience to their own teams. How they could foster these kinds of conversations in their own departments.

Their engagement and curiosity tell me that the work resonated and was valuable.

We often forget how important it is to invest in the dynamics of communication and collaboration in our teams — especially when time is scarce, and pressure is high.

I have found that this is actually the best time to pause and invest.

With this group, we will have several more sessions where we will identify next steps, and to work on coaching as another tool for leading teams and developing staff. I know that the initial resistance people felt has been eased even though the pressure is still own. They see the value.

Consider Your Own Team

If your team is experiencing a lot of pressure, and perhaps you are seeing some unraveling happening and conflicts simmering, let’s talk.

Especially if you are thinking, “But Beth, we’ve got no time for this!”

I contend that you can’t afford not to take the time.