Communication Improves Leadership
Here’s a scenario: Alan (not his real name) has a colleague that is new to an important project. The colleague is not sharing milestone successes with the team and is missing a few key deadlines. Not only is the project high stakes but Alan is dependent on the colleague’s work for his own deliverables to be successful.
Alan is known for being highly competent, a technical expert, and sometimes is perceived as lacking grace in communication. He has previously received feedback that his communication style can come off as impatience. When that impatience is combined with his high expectations, teammates have reported feeling uncomfortable working with Alan.
Alan took the feedback seriously and is working hard to improve in these areas, but is hesitant to approach either the colleague directly or his supervisor. He fears that doing so may be viewed as him being impatient, and may discount his efforts to act on the feedback.
Alan feels stuck and has chosen to keep his head down and suffer in silence even though he is concerned.This is not a great strategy. When we attempt to remain silent in situations like this, eventually our frustration and fear turns into anger and resentment, and comes out when we least expect, or want, it to.
Some event or conversation is going to spark his emotions to take over and he will react or respond in a way that he didn’t intend. His behavior could potentially serve as evidence to others that he is not making progress on implementing the feedback, even though he is genuinely trying.
This scenario shows why communication coaching is so important.
Many people have “communication” identified as an area that needs improvement but they aren’t shown pathways for making genuine change. Instead of learning new strategies, they try to just stop doing the recognizable behavior they’ve been called out for.
In this situation, Alan’s strategy would be to become curious. Here’s some questions Alan could ask his colleague to determine if they’re open to help.
“I notice that you are missing some deadlines with this project. I’m wondering if you know what is holding you back?”
“I notice that you are having some challenges with deadlines with this project. What might be helpful for you right now?”
“I noticed that some project deadlines were missed. Would it be helpful to spend time together brainstorming how to move past some of the challenges?”
“I know you’ve had some successes with this project but I haven’t seen any communication about the successes. Do you think it might benefit the team to hear about those successes?”
At the same time, Alan can communicate with his own supervisor saying, “I’ve noticed that there are some missed Project deadlines. My concern is how this will impact the success of the project. The steps I am taking are to ask “the colleague” if they’d like support in brainstorming ways to mitigate the challenges. Do you have any other thoughts?”
Presenting the business problem to the supervisor, instead of complaining about the colleague, shifts the focus from frustration with a person to a team problem that must be solved. This is often easier for the supervisor to hear and reflects better on you.
Communication style and skillfulness is one of the most frequent reasons why people receive negative feedback or don’t advance in their careers. If you think there are aspects of your communication style might that may be holding you back, reach out to learn more about communication coaching: https://NCDsolution.com/beth