When we attempt to remain silent in situations like this, eventually our frustration and fear turns into anger and resentment, and comes out when we least expect, or want, it to. Some event or conversation is going to spark emotions to take over and you will react or respond in a way that you didn’t intend. Communication coaching teaches you new skills, so you can effectively speak up even in charged situations.

My top tip for getting people to speak up in meetings is to increase your skillfulness as a facilitator who builds an emotionally safe and trustworthy environment for engagement. There are 5 important components that assist team members to participate in group dialogue. 

I’ve been reflecting on my own experience with NCD and realized that for me, the process and the practice continues to unfold. And every single day, I learn something new about myself, my emotional regulation and self-management, and how I stumble at times when I communicate. Particularly with loved ones and people close to me. NCD is not a one-and-done training, but an on-going practice. With intention and integration, the practice becomes part of your character and how others see and experience you. 

Unspokens are your truths showing up as words, phrases, and fully formed thoughts but instead of speaking them aloud, you hold them in just keep thinking about them. Often, we hold onto them because we don’t want to upset or offend anyone, or we fear being vulnerable. However, when we withhold what we’re thinking, it festers. And within that festering, people experience emotional hotspots. 

Many people rise to leadership based on their ability to do the work of the organization well. The downfall of many organizations can be attributed to those same people not developing skillfulness in strategic dialogue. By teaching strategic dialogue skills, you are building an organization that will navigate change effectively, deal with challenges and adversity thoughtfully, and innovate in ways that support the mission. 

I’m going to say something very bold here. We’ve been communicating all wrong. It’s time for a full blown revolution. 12 years ago I had to transform my communication in order to be a better leader and regain the trust of my team. And even though teaching communication skills is fundamental to what I do, I can’t be on auto-pilot. Now I practice these steps everyday.

When you communicate digitally does what you say match what you mean? Even though we think we’re crystal clear, the truth is we are frequently falling short. Overcoming these common challenges isn’t hard. I have a few simple steps that you can put into action immediately!

Here are six tips for exhausted humans to help you be more effective, particularly in the places where you’re considered the leader – whether that’s a formal title, a role you’ve taken on within family or friendships, or you may simply be the leader of your own life.

You may be pleased to find that all of these techniques ask you to do less – less managing, less acting, less engaging. When you begin to switch over to a place of ease, you will be amazed at how the entire energy shifts in your environment.