What Reward Do You Desire?
When you are preparing to have a challenging dialogue, it is critical that you are crystal clear on what outcome you desire. Not just for yourself but for the other party as well.
Sometimes I refer to this outcome as “the reward”.
Recently I was coaching a director who needed to have a conversation with an employee who kept missing the deadline on an important process. A deadline that, when not upheld, had the potential to impact customer loyalty and satisfaction.
Prior reminders with the staff person didn’t alter the behavior so the director found herself always checking up on the staff person. Her story was that the staff just didn’t care enough. And the director felt like a micromanager.
“It infuriates me!”, I was told by the director. “Which is why I’m resisting the conversation even though I know I have to have it”.
“Say more”, I asked.
“It feels like others just don’t care about the process. I have to constantly care more than they do because otherwise, things don’t get done”.
“Do you know for sure that you care more than they do?”, I asked. “Is this a fact?”
“Uhm. No, I don’t know that. That’s the way I feel”.
“So in having this conversation, what do you want to be different for you? What’s the potential reward?”
“I want to focus on what is most pertinent to my own work. And not spend my time checking up to see if she is doing her job”, she replied.
“Ahh. And what do you want for the other person?”
“I want them to understand that when they follow the process two things happen. First I get off their back. And secondly, customers feel taken care of and become more loyal to us”.
“Okay, which one is truly about them?” I inquired.
“I guess the one about how they can positively impact customer experience”, she responded.
When you take the time to identify the reward or desired outcome for each party, you are able to express that at the onset. Expressing this in a clear, clean, and nonemotional way helps to keep the conversation focused and less personal.
“I want to have a dialogue with you about the timeliness of processing orders. My goal is that by having this conversation, the outcome for me is that I can focus on my priority of customer acquisition and you will be focused on doing your part to keep customer loyalty and satisfaction high”.
My client said that once we clarified these anchor points, she felt a sense of relief about the conversation. It felt doable. And less “all over the place”.
Are you ready to be rewarded?
Identifying the desired rewards of having the dialogue is one of the steps in the NCD process.
What’s one step you can take to start building your team’s skill in this area?