A Possible Third Option
I recently had the opportunity to work with several people who are feeling very frustrated and stuck in jobs where they experience being disempowered, undervalued, frustrated and without a sense of purpose. They came in with the hope that the organization would change. Maybe their boss, the system, or that annoying coworker might change.
These people’s beliefs were that they’re stuck with only two options: stay and suffer, or leave and lose it all. Can you relate? Do you ever feel like that? Here’s some good news: I have a possible third option for you…
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Congratulations On Your Loss
A long-time friend of mine recently lost an incredibly tight race for an elected position she had held for a long time. Knowing her tenacity and intelligence, as well as her dedication and commitment to completing some long-term and somewhat controversial projects, I could only imagine her disappointment as the results came in.
And so I sent her a gently-worded message saying something to the effect of “Congratulations on your loss. Something new is coming.”
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Hot Button Issues – Fascinating!
I was recently listening to someone share a hot button issue for them, a specific customer scenario that really got under her skin. As she described it, the tension in the room escalated. This person became so animated when describing the past situation that she became red faced with frustration. And because emotions spread like viruses, others in the room started getting tense.
Why do some situations get to us on such an emotional level that even describing the situation days, months, or even years later takes us right back to the same negative vibe, while other situations don’t?
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Creating New Pathways Through Disappointment
I was invited by a client to walk with her as she processed feelings of great disappointment. Through out our conversation she was able to turn this experience around from “I was a fool to get excited” to “This experience helps me better understand where I want to go next with my work. I am grateful.” But the bigger and even more valuable lesson was that she gets to choose the pathway she walks when things turn out differently than she hoped.
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Learning from Our Mirrors
As a coach, I am aware that there is a belief that self-discovery and growth is “women’s work.” But I’m seeing a shift. The last six clients who’ve come to me are men seeking to learn more about how they show up under stress and how it impacts their team and ultimately the achievement of their business goals. I’m so honored that these men decided to trust me to walk with them through this journey. I love how open they are to the idea that the quickest way to move the dial toward better business success is to take a look at what you can control, shift, and how you intentionally show up and lead.
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Pause. Rewind. Delete.
Feeling stuck? I was too. But I stepped out of it. And you can too. The first step is pretty simple. So why not take it?
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I Have To Be Able To Vent!
According to researchers, venting actually continues or recreates the same activity in our brain as anger does. The act of venting sustains that anger-based activity for longer periods of time. In other words, whatever yucky feelings you are experiencing (anger, disappointment, sadness) would have disappeared sooner had you not gone into venting mode.
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