Leadership consultant and communication expert Beth Wonson examines the skills and strengths that make for effective leadership and communication.
We are entering prime time, the big show, the period just before the Christmas holiday that extends into the new year – a time known for hustle and bustle and joy and, mixed in with it, our stressors, emotional triggers, anxiety, drama, and conflict. And as we’ve all experienced, sometimes it’s a little tough to tell which moment is going to contain which bevy of emotion.
Read MoreSo I have a question for you: Would you rather go for a leisurely walk on a flat paved path or would you rather bushwhack your way through new and uncharted territory?
For me, the answer depends on the day. It depends on how much energy I have, how much time I have, and what I anticipate the reward might be.
Today I want to tell you about one of my absolute favorite sayings. I actually think it’s a Beth Wonson Original because when I Googled it with quotation marks around it, only my own articles and writing came up in the results. So I’m going to go ahead and own it!
Read MoreHere’s the truth: We can all go there, and we’ve all been there – stuck, with a stick up our birdy butt, blaming everyone, and waiting for justice.
But hopefully it is a temporary state, and when we recognize our condition, we take action to move ourselves out of it. Unfortunately, because of the work I do, I see many people who are unable to move, and these old birds are the ones who cause drama, tension, loss of time, and resistance toward organizational success.
So today, instead of focusing on others, we are going to find the stuck old bird within you – and if you know me at all, you are not surprised by this!
Read MoreSeptember always seems to be the time when I experience a big desire to get organized. Or as my dear departed Dad would say, to pull yourself together. I don’t know if it is the store shelves lined with back-to-school organizers, the deciduous trees shedding leaves they no longer need, or just the passing of the lazy, hazy days of summer, but I always feel a tug.
The onset of fall is also the time when I get eager to check in on where my anchor is set. A dear friend and mentor, Amy Burford, first told me about “checking my anchor” when I was struggling with some resistance in my business.
Read MoreWhy am I doing a happy dance? Because I’ve decided to no longer minimize my joy. Do you ever minimize your joy about things that are in process but haven’t fully happened yet? Why do you hold back? Is it fear? Humility? Superstition? Habit? Something else?
Do you intentionally force opportunities for joy to smolder instead of allowing a rip-roaring flame of pure glee? Why not reward yourself with a happy dance for each and every action that gets you closer to what you want – whether a full-on hips-and-arms-moving dance (like my friend Tamara) or an internal feeling of sheer delight and pride (like me)?
Read MoreA few years ago, I had a big aha about anger. It didn’t happen all at once. Just like the Ernest Hemingway character Mike says about going bankrupt in The Sun Also Rises, my learning about anger came on “gradually and then suddenly.” The gradual awareness came through repeated feelings of shame, regret, and wishing I’d shown up differently. This awareness was fed through feedback from relationships, coworkers, family members, and my harshest critic – myself.
Read MoreI don’t remember if I’ve written about this incident before, and if I have, I apologize. Well, actually, I don’t, as today I was reminded again of its importance. A few years ago, I was driving back to my home – in Los Osos, California at that time – from Monterey. It is pretty much a 3-hour straight shot down the 101. For those of you who aren’t familiar with that stretch of highway, there isn’t much along it except agricultural fields and an occasional rest stop…
Read MoreI recently had the opportunity to work with several people who are feeling very frustrated and stuck in jobs where they experience being disempowered, undervalued, frustrated and without a sense of purpose. They came in with the hope that the organization would change. Maybe their boss, the system, or that annoying coworker might change.
These people’s beliefs were that they’re stuck with only two options: stay and suffer, or leave and lose it all. Can you relate? Do you ever feel like that? Here’s some good news: I have a possible third option for you…
Read MoreA long-time friend of mine recently lost an incredibly tight race for an elected position she had held for a long time. Knowing her tenacity and intelligence, as well as her dedication and commitment to completing some long-term and somewhat controversial projects, I could only imagine her disappointment as the results came in.
And so I sent her a gently-worded message saying something to the effect of “Congratulations on your loss. Something new is coming.”
Read MoreI was recently listening to someone share a hot button issue for them, a specific customer scenario that really got under her skin. As she described it, the tension in the room escalated. This person became so animated when describing the past situation that she became red faced with frustration. And because emotions spread like viruses, others in the room started getting tense.
Why do some situations get to us on such an emotional level that even describing the situation days, months, or even years later takes us right back to the same negative vibe, while other situations don’t?
Read MoreI was invited by a client to walk with her as she processed feelings of great disappointment. Through out our conversation she was able to turn this experience around from “I was a fool to get excited” to “This experience helps me better understand where I want to go next with my work. I am grateful.” But the bigger and even more valuable lesson was that she gets to choose the pathway she walks when things turn out differently than she hoped.
Read MoreAs a coach, I am aware that there is a belief that self-discovery and growth is “women’s work.” But I’m seeing a shift. The last six clients who’ve come to me are men seeking to learn more about how they show up under stress and how it impacts their team and ultimately the achievement of their business goals. I’m so honored that these men decided to trust me to walk with them through this journey. I love how open they are to the idea that the quickest way to move the dial toward better business success is to take a look at what you can control, shift, and how you intentionally show up and lead.
Read MoreFeeling stuck? I was too. But I stepped out of it. And you can too. The first step is pretty simple. So why not take it?
Read MoreAccording to researchers, venting actually continues or recreates the same activity in our brain as anger does. The act of venting sustains that anger-based activity for longer periods of time. In other words, whatever yucky feelings you are experiencing (anger, disappointment, sadness) would have disappeared sooner had you not gone into venting mode.
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