Finding the Third Door
The Third Door is a magical place on the decision-making spectrum that is between Option A and Option B. It is in between the right choice and the wrong choice, between Yes and No, between any two obvious answers.
The Third Door is just a few steps off the beaten path, an entryway to expansive possibility – but it is elusive and not always easily seen by our thinking mind. Listen in pr read on for an example of the Third Door in the workplace, how I found my Third Door, and how you might find yours.
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Is Your First Fact Flawed or False?
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken off in a direction based on a first fact that is flawed. Sometimes I find out quickly, but sometimes the roadblocks, barriers, and failures aren’t eager to reveal themselves, and so it takes a lot longer. Sometimes, I’ve invested a lot of time and energy before realizing that I was headed in the wrong direction from the start.
Listen in for stories with what this looks like, plus three simple tips that will point your efforts in the right direction.
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Let Go of the Rock, Revisited
When we clutch and cling to what we treasure, our tightly closed fist prevents us from accepting anything more, and it can also prevent our moving forward with ease and freedom.
Listen in (or read on) for a short, sweet story about a child who learned to open her fist, which, in turn, opened my eyes – and also a list of nine rocks that many of us hold onto.
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Four Practical Ways to Outsmart the Power Paradox
Research and experience show that the more power we achieve, the less we take a nuanced approach to reading and understanding the people around us. Instead, the more power we have, the quicker we are to stereotype instead of taking time to build relationships.
Why? Well, as we now command resources that we once had to build relationships to acquire, the building relationships part isn’t quite as critical. Listen in for four practical steps you can take to avoid or fix this Power Paradox.
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How to Dissolve Your Self-Doubt
Do you ever stop and think, “Hey, what if they find out I don’t know as much as they think I do?” If your answer is Yes, then you’re in good company. Many of us suffer from Impostor Syndrome. It frequently appears as crediting our success to outside factors – things like luck, the mistakes of others, or fate – instead of attributing it to our skills, knowledge, hard work, and tenacity. Listen in or read on for other ways the Impostor Syndrome shows up and simple steps to dissolve your self-doubt.
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"Honey, You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet!"
In Tosha Silver’s book Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead, she offers this idea: “When you say to the Universe, ‘Oh, this is terrible!’ the Universe responds with, ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet.’ But when you say to the Universe, ‘Oh, this is so wonderful!’ the Universe responds with, ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet!’”
I’d been literally walking around with anger and resentment, and this was a light bulb of insight that I needed for my own shift. Listen in or read on to catch the whole story.
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How to Navigate a Big Change
I’ve helped a wide range of organizations, companies, and government agencies navigate the challenges inherent in growth and change. So, when I listened to a podcast where Dr. Dan Diamond explores what makes people resilient and committed when working for the greater good, I realized what he shares is as applicable to corporations and government agencies as it is to nonprofits.
Here are his key points that align perfectly with the advice, coaching, and consultation I provide on navigating big change.
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Special Edition: A Talk with Betsey Nash
Join Beth Wonson as she enjoys a talk with her mentor and friend, Betsey Nash. After many years in the human resources field and as “authoritative center of the universe on the central coast of California for HR and important human relations issues,” Betsey is on the cusp of retirement. But before she goes, she shares her philosophies of work and leadership while Beth treats her to words of thanks, praise, and congratulations from leaders who have worked with her.
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Is Your Work Culture in Discord or Harmony?
Whether in the workplace or at home, when people remain caught in the swirl of their unspoken stories – stories comprised of fear, angst, “what ifs,” and “they shoulds” – it creates a culture heavy with discord. But when people are trained and skillful in setting those emotional stories aside to speak their truth based on facts, there is a culture of harmony.
Read on or listen in for a case study about peeling away the emotions and getting at the facts, plus two simple ways to identify the truth.
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When Others Don’t See Their Own Potential
When you believe you’re seeing someone’s potential, what are you really seeing? Are you seeing them as they see themselves, or are you looking at their situation as if it were you? Is what you want for others what’s truly best for them, or is it simply a reflection of what you want for yourself?
Listen in or read on for real-life examples of how positioning yourself as the expert on someone else’s life can cause tension and conflict – at work and at home.
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Emotional Literacy: What’s the Cost?
The more I engage and do consulting work with organizations, the more I see that the core thing causing us to get into conflicts, waste time, create drama and chaos, and have a strong negative impact on productivity is that people are less and less skillful in the emotional literacy realm.
Listen in or read on for a definition of emotional literacy plus a story that showcases low emotional literacy skills and how they can affect an organization’s bottom line.
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How to Prevent Another Bad Hire
Have you ever made a new hire – or been a part of the team that made a new hire – and after a few weeks, you begin to get that sinking feeling of “Oh no, we made a mistake…”?
If so, you are not alone. Bringing on new talent is one of the most challenging tasks that anyone has to deal with. There are so many complex variables in making a good hire, but only seven ways we make a bad one.
Read on or listen in for how to remedy seven bad hire habits, from ambiguous goals to hidden expectations.
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How to Foster Hope When Things Aren’t Trending Toward Positive
A key learning from Navigating Challenging Dialogue® is issues like staff burnout, drama, conflict, high turnover, and low morale are symptoms signaling a deeper issue.
What’s underneath hopelessness is the basic human desire to feel our efforts are trending toward a positive outcome. Yet the important work of wrangling with long-term societal problems can feel overwhelmingly negative.
Read on (or listen in) for two radically different approaches to helping individuals and the collective in your organization find a path to hope…
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“If It Were Me, I Would Have…”
Recently, I was at a gathering of people who I love being around for their vibrant interaction, and I found myself growing annoyed with a new member of the group who pushed his perspectives at every opportunity. Apparently, others felt the same because, before too long, he was standing by himself.
Read on (or listen in) for how I stepped out of annoyance and into the neutral Observer Mode, what I saw and learned from that position, and how I used curiosity to change the dynamic for him and around him.
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10 Strategies for Feeling More Connection
I often hear from people that there are friends, coworkers, and even family members who they no longer feel the same level of connection with because of disagreements, differences of opinion, different worldviews, or conflict.
So, today, I want to focus on some simple strategies that will help you experience a deeper sense of connection and a deeper sense of peace. So, here we go with 10 strategies for feeling more connected...
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Would You Like Joy and Abundance Right Now?
My life experience says joy and abundance aren’t in the achievement of perfected bliss but in the awareness that when life’s disappointments, confusion, hard choices, and grief-filled moments appear, I can come back to center.
Rather than try to fix, change, avoid, or fight it, I can be like the caterpillar – I can sink in, allow myself to be, take a deep rest, and trust that the way will again become clear.
Listen in for the lessons in caterpillar goop and human soup, along with the warm wisdom of horses.
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What's Your Story?
Stories play a powerful role in our lives, and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are the most impactful. Positive stories can help us launch our dreams, achieve our goals, and propel us to the next level, while negative stories can do quite the opposite, and most significantly, create disconnection from others.
Listen in for the three types of negative stories, the six reasons we use them, and how to slow or stop the endless cycle for someone who has become stuck in their own story.
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8 Ways to Be a Little More Badass
I’ve been listening to You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero because it was recommended by people I respect, although the title feels a bit slimy to me.
Well, her audiobook is fast-paced and funny with a smart, dry wit. While listening to Jen talk about how our words, energy, and beliefs inform what’s possible for us, I began seeing connections – both to myself and to many of the blocks my clients face.
Listen in or read on for more from the book, plus 8 lessons on badassery that I’m putting into practice.
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But, There IS Enough Time
When you ask your staff why they missed a deadline or dropped a project, you may hear, “I didn’t get it done because I’m overwhelmed. There isn’t enough time in the day for all that’s on my plate.”
And now they’re off the hook, and you’re on it, even if that wasn’t their intention. Because how can you effectively respond to that? It’s not like you can manufacture more time for them.
Well, listen in for a question you can ask that will point the way to getting more done with however much time they have.
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“Something Has Got to Change!”
Ten years ago, whenever I felt certain that something had to change, I was quite certain it was someone else who needed to change and not me. This was true in my friendships, my work relationships, and how I viewed the world. I held the expectation that everyone would be better off if they were more like me.
But now, through a lot of self-work and with more self-awareness, I know that whatever emotional energy comes up in me is simply there for me to continue to learn about myself. Listen in or read on for more…
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