Guess Why I’m Doing a Happy Dance!
Why am I doing a happy dance? Because I’ve decided to no longer minimize my joy. Do you ever minimize your joy about things that are in process but haven’t fully happened yet? Why do you hold back? Is it fear? Humility? Superstition? Habit? Something else?
Do you intentionally force opportunities for joy to smolder instead of allowing a rip-roaring flame of pure glee? Why not reward yourself with a happy dance for each and every action that gets you closer to what you want – whether a full-on hips-and-arms-moving dance (like my friend Tamara) or an internal feeling of sheer delight and pride (like me)?
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No Strategic Plan, No Succession Plan, and A Panic Hire -- Oh My!
Over the past six months, I’ve been working with a delightful nonprofit board of directors. The board came to me because they knew they had several challenges after years of smooth sailing, and they could not quite identify a pathway through those challenges. Read on for the story behind each, from their missing strategic plan to their concerns about succession.
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My Anger: Gradually and Then Suddenly
A few years ago, I had a big aha about anger. It didn’t happen all at once. Just like the Ernest Hemingway character Mike says about going bankrupt in The Sun Also Rises, my learning about anger came on “gradually and then suddenly.” The gradual awareness came through repeated feelings of shame, regret, and wishing I’d shown up differently. This awareness was fed through feedback from relationships, coworkers, family members, and my harshest critic – myself.
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A Myth of Power: “Hey Beth, You Shouldn’t Have to Wait”
In an informal observation, a group – comprised of one person identified as the leader and several of their staff – was served a plate of cookies. There were precisely enough cookies for everyone to have one, and then there was one extra cookie.
Those not identified as the leader politely took one cookie each and left the spare. After a bit of time, the identified leader walked up and took the extra cookie. To my surprise, this occurred in group after group. Wondering why? Read on to learn how an increase in power can lead to a decrease in empathy.
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Goodbye, Dear Keys!
I don’t remember if I’ve written about this incident before, and if I have, I apologize. Well, actually, I don’t, as today I was reminded again of its importance. A few years ago, I was driving back to my home – in Los Osos, California at that time – from Monterey. It is pretty much a 3-hour straight shot down the 101. For those of you who aren’t familiar with that stretch of highway, there isn’t much along it except agricultural fields and an occasional rest stop…
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Everyone Loves It! …Or Do They?
What do you think when you overhear laughter in your workplace? Are you eager to join in? Do you get the sense a team must be making great progress? Or do you wonder if people are having too much fun to be productive? Maybe you feel left out? Or are you curious who is the target of a harsh joke today?
According to the theory of Conscious Leadership put forth in The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success, humor in an organization is a key indicator of a healthy culture in that organization — but what some see as humor can be hurtful to others. Read on to learn why sarcasm isn’t funny.
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A Possible Third Option
I recently had the opportunity to work with several people who are feeling very frustrated and stuck in jobs where they experience being disempowered, undervalued, frustrated and without a sense of purpose. They came in with the hope that the organization would change. Maybe their boss, the system, or that annoying coworker might change.
These people’s beliefs were that they’re stuck with only two options: stay and suffer, or leave and lose it all. Can you relate? Do you ever feel like that? Here’s some good news: I have a possible third option for you…
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Congratulations On Your Loss
A long-time friend of mine recently lost an incredibly tight race for an elected position she had held for a long time. Knowing her tenacity and intelligence, as well as her dedication and commitment to completing some long-term and somewhat controversial projects, I could only imagine her disappointment as the results came in.
And so I sent her a gently-worded message saying something to the effect of “Congratulations on your loss. Something new is coming.”
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Hey, Got a Minute?
It is hard to focus when you are constantly getting pinged, binged, or tapped on the shoulder with someone who just needs a quick second. And not only is it hard to focus, but the research shows that you have a higher chance of making mistakes and experiencing more stress and exhaustion.
Do you find yourself getting frustrated by colleagues who should know the answer to a question (or at least be able to find it) but instead they holler across the room to you? Or perhaps you are the person who prefers to ask someone versus look something up yourself?
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Drinking the Kool-Aid (and other phrases that drive me crazy)
When I’m facilitating strategic planning sessions, I frequently experience the same level of irritation. When I’m coaching or working with someone whose first language is not English, I strive to be aware of the phrases I’m using. And no matter who the audience is, I want to be very aware of phrases that have negative origins or may be triggering.
Here are just some of my pet peeves (a phrase originating in 1919) and why they just don’t fit in business (or any) communication where you strive to inspire, motivate, build community, connection, and clarity (and avoid litigation)…
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Hot Button Issues – Fascinating!
I was recently listening to someone share a hot button issue for them, a specific customer scenario that really got under her skin. As she described it, the tension in the room escalated. This person became so animated when describing the past situation that she became red faced with frustration. And because emotions spread like viruses, others in the room started getting tense.
Why do some situations get to us on such an emotional level that even describing the situation days, months, or even years later takes us right back to the same negative vibe, while other situations don’t?
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Creating New Pathways Through Disappointment
I was invited by a client to walk with her as she processed feelings of great disappointment. Through out our conversation she was able to turn this experience around from “I was a fool to get excited” to “This experience helps me better understand where I want to go next with my work. I am grateful.” But the bigger and even more valuable lesson was that she gets to choose the pathway she walks when things turn out differently than she hoped.
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