I recently heard a story from a friend that I will never forget. Her story made me wonder, what if we could all show up with the belief that everyone we are interacting with is exceptional and worthy -- at work, in our family, in life? How would that belief change the outcome for our relationships, conversations, mentoring, management, parenting, and coaching? How could it impact our happiness at work and in our personal lives?
Read More“We are all overwhelmed, but fewer people also means less friction!” This was the reply I received when I checked in on a former client who I knew had been struggling with some drama and chaos between members of his team. On the one hand, his problem of unhealthy conflicts leading to drama was resolved when a few team members chose to leave. On the other hand, given the job market and lack of available qualified staff for his specialty business, it meant that everyone else had to pick up the slack.
Read MoreI was asked how to begin introducing the idea of giving and receiving feedback to a small team who hadn’t been doing this previously. Their purpose is to create an environment in which feedback with peers is the norm. This question leads me to a broader discussion on how do you introduce any new behavioral norm into an existing culture. I’ll use feedback in this example, but this process can apply to any norm you want to establish.
Read MoreNo matter how much we want to tell ourselves otherwise, there are just some people who aren’t likable. However, we are often in a position as a manager, teammate, or family member, or at a social gathering, where we must still engage whether we like them or not. And even more importantly, as a manager or leader your dislike has to stay out of the equation. You must be neutral, that’s your job. But this is so much easier said than done.
Read MoreHere are a few simple rules that can be used to create a positive workplace culture. It’s quite easy to do this when we are clear on the rules, communicate the rules, and then model how they are applied.
Read MoreI had a great call with a colleague where she introduced me to an idea that I understand, but didn’t have the words for - Essentialism. The term has been coined, in this context, by Greg McKeown. Paraphrased, he defines Essentialism as identifying your point of highest contribution to the world and then focusing your available time, energy, and resources in that direction. The tricky part of essentialism is that it also means letting go of, or saying no to, things that aren’t where your highest contribution to the world is.
Read MoreI’m not sure if it is human nature or not, but I admit, from the moment I arrived, I had been looking around and noticing all the differences between myself and others. Then I was reminded about what we all share in common, and it took me out of my comparison lens and dropped me into the commonality view.
Read MoreOften we believe that our communication is clear of emotion. But communication can be tricky. Even if you believe your words are emotionless, they may be experiencing an emotional charge based on the words you choose and the energy you project. And they may assume the emotion they are attaching to your words is exactly what you meant to convey. This is how each of us can leave a conversation with an entirely different belief of what happened. We may hear the same words, but we may feel different emotions.
Read MoreWe are in challenging times and most of us, from what I’ve heard, aren’t wanting to do more, even though we feel like we should. Everyone I’ve spoken to lately shares the same sentiment. Without question, the greatest journey that I have taken is a simple, free practice that gives me more time and vitality than anything else I’ve done. And it doesn’t cost a cent.
Read MoreI’m going to say something very bold here. We’ve been communicating all wrong. It’s time for a full blown revolution. 12 years ago I had to transform my communication in order to be a better leader and regain the trust of my team. And even though teaching communication skills is fundamental to what I do, I can’t be on auto-pilot. Now I practice these steps everyday.
Read MoreImagine a world without feedback. I know we all have moments when we wish for less feedback. But a world with no feedback would leave me rudderless. It would be like leaving the harbor in a boat, moving forward, but not knowing if the forward movement was getting me closer to or further from my destination.
Read MoreDo you find that learning about your unique strengths, motivations, habits of attention, and other patterns of thoughts is more intriguing than ever before? You’re not alone. In fact, it is actually the study of self, the investigation of what makes me tick, that helps build relationships that matter. Until you know yourself, you can’t know anyone else.
Read MoreYou are likely clearing up your to do list before the holiday break, but there is likely one more task on your list: the pesky team kick-off or retreat for 2022. Here are some quick ideas to energize and focus your team in a meaningful way.
Read MoreThe pandemic changed us. Most humans no longer accept that their value is that of a commodity or a “human resource”, yet business owners, corporate entities, and unions, are still operating as if employees are a commodity.
Read MoreWhen I was just starting out in my own leadership career, there was one particular leader who I kept going to for approval. I was not able to get it no matter how hard I tried. There were several people in leadership roles who were supportive, gave me great feedback, took time to teach and mentor me, but that one person’s attention and approval were allusive to me.
Read MoreNot every idea can be put in place, but every idea can be received and discussed. Most ideas can’t be implemented as they are presented, but the discussion of ideas leads to things that can make a difference, and it builds trust within the team.
Read MoreWhen you are anyone other than the person in ultimate control of an organization, there can be times that you find yourself feeling between a rock and a hard place. How do you proceed without letting your frustration become so apparent that you are labeled as resistant to change or negative? In my coaching and consulting work this comes up often.
Read MoreDo you feel like every time you try to talk with an employee, they are defensive? Or maybe you are the employee who finds yourself being defensive. Or perhaps you are the supervisor who finds your attempts at giving feedback are met with defensiveness.
More and more, leaders who come to work with me are just burnt out. I can hear it in their voice and see it in their eyes. And nearly every time, when I delve into what is at the root of the burnout, they reveal that they are exhausted by solving problems for employees who can’t seem to proactively come up with answers to the same questions over and over again.
Read MoreA common theme among managers is that there is a staff person who is not meeting expectations. This one person often takes up more real estate in the manager's head than any other employee. The manager tells me that they’ve had discussions with them about how they aren’t meeting expectations. Not specific conversations, just vague discussions.
Despite how many times they meet, the employee continues on the same trajectory of under-performance.
Read More